Waiting Families
Tim and Melissa
Dear Birth Mother,
Thank you for taking the time to read our letter. My name is Tim. My wife Melissa and I are thrilled that you are considering us as a loving home where you can place your child. We have tried for several years to expand our own family, and have lost three babies in the process. In spite of these tragic setbacks, we are committed to becoming parents and sharing our lives with a child we can nurture and guide to be a successful and happy person. The two of us are so grateful that you would consider allowing us to parent your child. We are excited to finally have the chance to become parents, after so many years of waiting for a baby to love.
Melissa and I were both born in New England, but grew up in Virginia. We met in college where we became close friends. She was a theater major, and I was a music major. When I proposed to Melissa in 1999, I was asking to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. She is a person who I can laugh with, sing with, hike with or just watch movies with. She is my equal, my partner and someone who can go toe to toe with me. We married in 2000, and our commitment and love for each other grows every year. We spend time together, but also respect any time we have to spend apart. We support each other in whatever we do. Melissa and I sing together at church, go see live music and shows as often as we can, and play the loving roles of “Auntie” and “Uncle” in the lives of our two nieces. They are nine year old girls, and one of them is adopted. Your child will have a cousin who knows what it’s like to be an adopted child. We got settled in our careers before we started to think seriously about having our own children. Melissa became a teacher; I work as a supervisor at a large corporation. In 2008 we expanded our family with a beautiful blue-point Siamese cat. Melissa declared that we needed another living thing in our house, since we lacked children to fill it.
What I love most about Melissa is her willingness to go along with my ideas, even the silly ones. She knows my love for Groundhog Day, and we always celebrate that holiday. She loves me in spite of my shoe and hat collection. She lets me drive, because she knows I get bored as a passenger, even though it means a couple of extra minutes trying to find our way out of shopping malls. Trips to Baltimore, Philly and beyond are frequent, and fun because of her. From bowling to baseball to barbeque, she is ready for the next adventure.
Melissa says, “The best thing about Tim is his supportive love. When I cook, he cleans up the kitchen. He does laundry and helps clean the house. When I was in the hospital with pregnancy problems, he was right there beside me. In spite of my early labors and loss of our children, Tim never once blamed me for what happened. We grieved together, talked together, and agreed to follow our dreams of being parents together. I can’t imagine how I got so lucky to be married to my best friend and a man of such strength and character. He will be a wonderful father, and I can’t wait for us to become parents so he has the chance to be the daddy I know he can be.”
We own our own home about an hour outside of Washington, D.C. Our neighborhood is family-oriented, with a nearby playground and a large backyard to play in. The surrounding area has anything you could want for a child, including baseball games, county and state fairs, children’s theater, music lessons, and classes and activities of every kind. There are excellent schools nearby, and Melissa is familiar with the best teachers in the area. Your child’s education will take place not only at school, but at home. Learning is a priority for us, especially a love of reading, and we are dedicated to raising children who have the opportunity to explore their interests and participate in activities including music lessons, scouting, sports, and camping with the family. Don’t get us wrong, though. We aren’t the kind of people to force an activity on a child or be those screaming sports parents. Only so much time should be spent with organized activities. Children need lots of time to play and explore the world around them. We can provide those opportunities for your child.
Because Melissa is a teacher, she will spend her summers off playing with, teaching, and traveling with your child. Summer will be a time for adventures. For a week or two each summer we go to New Hampshire to visit relatives and enjoy the beauty of that area. Sometimes Melissa also takes a trip to Minnesota to visit other relatives. We plan to travel and expose your child to the world around him/her. Being so close to D.C., we can also sightsee there on a regular basis. Those experiences will help your child decide what to do in life, and may even help him/her decide what college to go to.
Melissa and I are close with both sets of our parents. Melissa’s parents live about 5 minutes away and mine are only 30 minutes away. We all get together on a regular basis. Melissa’s mother is retired, and can’t wait to babysit another grandchild. She is a former reading teacher, and loves to read, play, and sing with our nieces (her only grandchildren so far).
We attend church regularly, and are part of our church choir. Your child will be raised with Christian religious beliefs in a church family that is fun, tolerant, and friendly towards everyone. We will encourage good character and giving behavior in your child, and he/she will grow up in a secure, safe, and loving environment. Our church includes several other families who have adopted children, and they can provide support and a listening ear to your child in the future.
Melissa and I plan to constantly talk to your child about his/her adoption, and about how lucky we are to have him/her. We are grateful that the option of adoption is available to us, and will share that with your child. There are so many children’s books and stories about adoption, and your child will always know about it. We plan to tell him/her anything you want to share about yourself, and will assure him/her of your love. If you are comfortable sharing a picture of yourself, we can show that to your child so he/she knows who you are. Melissa likes to scrapbook, and plans to make an adoption scrapbook for your child. In it will be information about you and about adopting your child. We want adoption to seem like a completely normal thing for your child. And, as I mentioned above, your child will have a built-in adopted cousin to talk to and share with. Melissa and I would like more than one child, so his/her eventual siblings will also be a source of support.
In short, Melissa and I have been in a stable, loving relationship for over 15 years. We are committed to being the best parents we can be, and will nurture, love, encourage, support, and enjoy spending time with your child. We will give him/her the best life we possibly can, and give him/her as many life experiences as possible. Thank you so much for offering us the chance of a lifetime; the chance to be parents when our other chances had fallen away.
Warmly,
Tim and Melissa